A Prison Mentor’s Reflections

(This blog is written by a Christian volunteer who has been mentoring at a Federal Women’s prison for approximately five years through the Life Connections Program, a faith based organization bringing the message of faith and hope to those anticipating release. It is the reflection at the close of a single evening.) 

This evening, as I drove home from the prison after an hour of mentoring with the light of a full moon and listening to Andrea Bocelli singing Ave Maria, I could feel God's presence all around me. I told the Lord I was tired as I usually am after an intense hour of dialogue with a prisoner.  Emotions run high.  But knowing God was with me, I told Him I had missed that feeling of closeness with Him on occasion this week, mostly due to my wandering mind; not being focused on Him and letting other things invade my space.  Prison mentoring brings me back to center.  My inmate is grateful for my presence; it gives her chance to vent, share, cry, and wish for freedom, privacy, and time alone with her Lord.  We on the outside have freedom. We are not locked up and no, we have committed no crime for sure.  All they want is to know that someone cares; someone from the outside; someone who can bring the outside inside with a message of hope and of God’s love.  We get so caught up in our own petty worries and fears that we really do not realize those who are trapped behind bars, admittedly through their own fault, but never the less still are looking from behind bars for a glimpse of freedom, while we look from the outside through the bars with freedom at our side. When the sound of the gate closes as we enter or leave, there is a large "bang". When entering the prison we are subjected to the usual security measures similar to the airports; pat downs, metal detectors and hands being stamped for our safety and God forbid, we become involved in a prison riot. We realize we cannot leave unless granted permission with an escort to take us back out of the confines of the unit.  Freedom is precious.  The slamming of the gate is a reminder of just how precious it is.  It is a sound that resonates throughout the room and one a person never forgets or gets used to.  

We all tend to get caught up in the moment but I realize every time I enter those prison gates, how grateful I am for that freedom which God has blessed me with and all of us with.  I wonder sometimes how the early martyrs felt when the gate slammed behind them.  When their freedom was extinguished because of their faith, did the sound of the gate, the dark of the dungeon, the loss of light and separation from loved ones cause them anxiety, fear, doubt and pain?  

When walking through Mamertine Prison in Rome where St. Peter was imprisoned for some months awaiting his death, I pondered all the feelings he must have had.  Interestingly enough, he converted almost all the guards who watched over him. 

I have been asked many times “how can you go to the prison?”  I could never do what you do”, they say.  Of course I remind them of Mathew’s passage in chapter 25: 35-36 “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.” (NAB)  I continue to tell them, it is a “calling” that I cannot ignore. 

I read an article recently that said “Each year, more than 700,000 individuals are released from state and federal prison.  Another 9 million cycle through local jails.  When reentry fails, the costs—both societal and economic—are high.  Statistics indicate that more than two-thirds of state prisoners are rearrested within 3 years of their release and half are re-incarcerated.” (Taken from Reentry in Brief, a product of the Federal Interagency Reentry Council) 

I hope I can, at the very least, bring the light of God's love to those I mentor.  If I can even save one soul for Christ out of all I interact with or at the very least keep one inmate from returning to prison, I will feel some sense of accomplishment.  I do not ask for God's glory, just his love and strength to do this which gives me the confidence and courage I need to show the outside to those on the inside. To soften the "bang" of the gate a little and give hope to the hopeless, love to the loveless and the love and peace of Christ to all who desire it........ I continue to thank my Lord and Savior for this opportunity.

 JRB (A Contributor to SDM)