A Lesson in Humility

Written by a follower of SDM

It has occurred to me within the last week, the very thing causing me to anguish over loss of previous church relationships of another denomination, abundant blessings from ministries in that denomination and recognition for those ministries, is the virtue of humility. This very virtue if not recognized, can cause prideful feelings to creep into the soul which in turn can keep one from intimacy with Christ.

I recently was privileged to attend Vespers with the Conferral of Pontifical Honors at the Cathedral of St. Patrick’s in downtown Ft. Worth, Texas. A new Catholic friend of mine and future spiritual advisor was receiving the Benemerenti Medal for her work within the diocese in forming the Permanent Deacon program. This medal was created by Pope Pius VI in the late 1700’s in recognition of those individuals who have exemplified service in the Church. Following this service all were invited to attend a reception in a very large and new parish hall adjacent to the Cathedral. It was an enormous hall with many faces, none of whom I knew. Fifteen individuals received the various medals and of course many families and friends from local parishes were in attendance.

As I made my way around the room with a friend from St. Andrew’s, which is now my parish, I came to the realization this was the first very large reception I was attending at a Catholic function in which I knew no one. Having lived in Ft. Worth for the past 30+ years, been active in the Methodist community and a part of the pastoral family of ministers, this was an eye opening experience and very humbling for me. Had it been at a Methodist gathering, I would have known many of the pastors and laity and felt very much at home. Here I was just another Catholic in a sea of faces unknown to them and likewise they were unknown to me.

Attendance at the Catholic Church has given me a taste of humility in many ways. Eventually I would come to know more parishioners through Bible study, regular attendance at Mass and other activities I have become involved in, but initially I was very much alone in my walk. Having been away from the Church for 45 years and an active Protestant I found out quickly, Mass is not a time to socialize nor become involved in noticing who is present or absent from worship or how one is dressed much less how well the choir sings or how “moving” the message is which is typical of many Protestant worship experiences. I have since learned how to become totally immersed in the act of worship keeping my eyes focused on the Eucharistic celebration which in and of itself is a humbling experience.

The realization that this little virtue of humility had kept me from understanding the fullness of God’s grace by causing me distress, has opened my eyes to the reality that this is not about me but about my relationship with God. It is about bringing me closer to Him through the fullness of the Church and its sacraments. This has been a hard concept to grasp. Although Protestants will preach “a personal relationship with the Lord,” they are also very good at reaching out to others to make them feel welcome into their community of faith and enabling them to become “doers of the word” which has not traditionally been part of many Catholic Churches. No one came up and welcomed me into the community at St. Andrew’s aside from those I was in contact with on a personal level through my own endeavors. In the beginning I compared the differences and noticed with interest the lack of congregational outreach. But again it has been through humility I have come to understand what the true importance of Mass has come to mean to me.

After reading OSV’s article by Eric Sammons (12-11-11) “How to welcome faithful back into the fold”, I was struck by the comment: “Although there are many valuable groups in every parish, God calls each person to holiness, not busyness”. The article goes on to talk about “encountering Christ directly and to let ourselves become, as St. Paul often said: like Christ.” This of course occurs through the sacraments and prayer. The author also said: “Don’t compromise the faith in order to be more appealing.” That really got my attention as having been a Protestant, this is exactly what eventually caused me to leave the Methodist tradition and seek out a return to the faith of the Catholic Church. Trying to be an appealing and welcoming church can turn around and cause one to lose the very thing that calls us to be Christians; humility and doing the will of God. I fully appreciate the need for recognition of new parishioners but at the same time, there needs to be a balance between the secular and the sacramental attributes of a church. Respect for those who prefer not to be a “welcoming” church as well as for those bringing in the experience of congregational participation in affirming new members. The original house-churches (Domus Ecclesiae) of the early Christians clearly expressed a participatory relationship with each and every member, new and otherwise. It is how the church was established and the need will continue to be built on those same principals in order to bring former Catholics back as well as new Catholics. Before any of this can take place, one has to realize it is our relationship with Christ first and foremost and this is not dependent on those around us or how we are greeted each and every time we celebrate Mass.

Humility is a difficult virtue. We all enjoy being recognized for the accomplishments we have had through work, family, friends and our churches. I had built up a large network of friends and clergy through my accomplishments within the Methodist Church and most people knew who I was when my name would be mentioned at various meetings within the framework of the church. But when I came to the realization in the last couple of weeks that as a Catholic I needed to become more centered on Christ rather than on “self”, it was as if a whole new perspective on what it was I was initially seeking in the Catholic Church were the very things I left behind in the Protestant church! As the apostle St. John says in his gospel, Chapter 3:30: “I must decrease so He can increase”, I realized it is through complete humility and submission to His will that must gain my full attention. It is not on what I can accomplish through the parish or through various committees that drives me anymore. Such a sublime sense of peace has enfolded me since I came to this realization. The following is a passage from a book by Thomas Merton “I Have Seen What I was Looking For” which sums up what I speak of:

“We are warmed by fire, not by the smoke of the fire. We are carried over the sea by a ship, not by the wake of a ship. So too, what we are is to be sought in the invisible depths of our own being, not in our outward reflection in our own acts. We must find our real selves, not in the froth stirred up by the impact of our being on the beings around us, but in our own soul which is the principle of all our acts.”

I praise God for this reflection and for the awakening of my spirit to what true humility is. There will always be a sense of longing for the welcoming community of believers I left behind as they were such a large part of my life for many years, but having come to this “awakening” within me, has ultimately made the transition much easier from the old (what was comfortable) to the new which has stretched me in many ways. It has led me down the path to reunification with Christ and His One Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. For that I will be eternally grateful.

Written By a Follower of SDM website