Struggles in Returning “Home”
written by a follower of SDM
The intent of this article will be to hopefully help those who may be struggling with their return to the Catholic Church due to either conflict within family members or friends who are not supportive of a denominational change or personal conflicts in making a decision to leave belief systems that one has been a part of for many years. I was a part of both of these conflicts and I hope to offer some hope to those desiring to return to a Church, 2,000 years old; rich in both history and beliefs that I had discovered to be full of wonderful grace and solace to a very weary traveler.
As I traveled across West Texas recently on a trip to the New Mexico Mountains, I noted with certain sadness how dry, hot and parched the land was. As far as the eye could see, the land, which normally is rich with a mix of dark and light greens of the mesquite and cedar trees and farmland the color of red soil growing cotton and various other crops needed for a thriving economy, was sadly dying from lack of rain. Farm equipment lay to the side of the road and in some cases had “for sale” signs on them. Tractors were abandoned in the fields. Many ranches have had to sell their cattle and the small deer that roam the plains have left their fawns due to lack of water. I saw some of those on the side of road, fed on by those roaming scavengers looking for a meal.
Observing all this while driving down the long stretch of highway, I was reminded of how I felt a year ago when I began searching for fulfillment in a faith that had become for me, unsatisfying. I was parched, dry and thirsty. I was unable to grow spiritually much like the crops of Texas. I began searching for the flowing waters that would soothe me and bring me to that green, grassy pasture of my soul where I could lay down by those streams and cool my parched lips bringing me closer to the One I needed so desperately. As the psalmist sings in Psalm 23:2 “In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength.”
When I began contemplation of returning to the Church of my childhood, I knew it would conflict with those closest to me. Having been married 41 years and part of the Methodist Church during that time, I realized this would take me on a journey requiring much prayer, knowledge of the Catholic faith and most importantly spiritual guidance. For one contemplating this return, these three essential elements are needed in order to complete the journey, remaining somewhat intact and able to weather those developing storm clouds on the horizon that may occur.
The most important beginning of any journey is prayer. One must develop a deep relationship with the Holy Spirit in order to be able to recognize the call to return to the Church. It is a “spark” that may lie dormant for many years but once rekindled will burn out of control requiring immediate attention and the realization that God is at work in you. I actually “wrestled” with the call and found myself in a state of some deep depression for a while because I resisted the “call”. I fought it with every fiber of my being even though I knew this was what I had been searching for over a period of many years...
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